Rosie Wilby is an award-winning comedian, author and podcaster who has appeared a number of times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Saturday Live and Four Thought. Her first book Is Monogamy Dead? was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize and followed a trilogy of solo shows investigating the psychology of love and relationships. Her new book The Breakup Monologues is based on her acclaimed podcast of the same name and it explores the science of heartbreak and the unexpected joy that can come from breakups.
In this conversation Rosie talks about growing up and coming out as gay in the 1980s and how she found her crowd in the queer community after moving to London. She tells me about her experience of being in a 'secret' relationship for five years with a woman who hadn't come out to her parents and we talk about the internalized homophobia experienced by many and Rosie shares how she's learned to empower and enable others to 'own' and feel more at ease with their sexuality.
Rosie includes a chapter in her book on friendship breakups and we talk about how they are rarely acknowledged in the same way as romantic relationships, and there's no 'script' for them, despite the pain they can cause.
We talk about post-traumatic growth after a painful breakup and how they can eventually lead to healing personal growth, leaving us better equipped to make informed choices in future. Rosie shares her greatest learnings from her breakups and we discuss the merits of singledom.
Rosie's first book, Is Monogamy Dead? explores the need to reinvestigate monogamy for modern times and she shares some inspired insights into how we can reimagine monogamy and make relationships work for us, without piling the pressure and expectation onto one person to provide everything we need.
Rosie is on Twitter @rosiewilby and Instagram @breakupmonologues and you can check her book out here.
Find Sophie on Instagram here.